Phwoare (expletive) (expletive) Lady, you know how to live! Can I be a (expletive) house plant in your house?
Thinks, “I feel you may be extremely well qualified?”
“Fancy (expletive), I just mean just (expletive) fancy…. well you take the (expletive) biscuit. Does it make ‘um grow and better”. Answering his own question rhetorically he said “I suppose it must or you wouldn’t bovva. Bit of a waste to my mind but good on ya. They do look (expletive) lovely.”
“Oh, I’m pleased you noticed, it is always gratifying to know” said I. Failing dismally not to sound like a mis-minded dowager and neither wishing to appear utterly clueless.
Duly permissioned, I look up, down in every which way. Then reassuringly realise that he really is talking to me…
View original post 759 more words